Take A Sip

For those of you who are always thirsty for more, don't forget to check out my Tumblr.

http://romanticallyjack.tumblr.com/

Life is somewhat hectic at the moment and I find myself updating that more often.

Enjoy my sweets.

Goddamned

On Wednesday October 20th my friend Robyn and I ventured to Camden town to see Jay Brannan live in concert. Ever since stumbling upon his youtube videos 2 years ago I have been an avid fan and was determined to see him on his UK tour since I missed him the last time he was here.

The gig was wonderful. Jay played all the songs I wanted him to, (including his goosebump-creating cover of 'Zombie' originally recorded by The Crannberries) especially 'Can't Have It All' being possibly one of my favourite songs of all time and inspired the very name of this blog -

"If these walls could talk they'd probably cry out for mercy,

until I'm outlined in chalk I'll be romantically thirsty"

And of course he couldn't have had a gig without performing his most well-known song 'Soda Shop' which can be found on the soundtrack of the movie Shortbus in which he also stars. I must also mention that Jay was supported by singer/songwriter Chris Pureka who was so endearing, warm and charismatic, her songs were acoustic and emotional works of beauty!

I also had the honour of meeting the man himself before and after he performed (I didn't get a picture with him before he performed so simply had to approach him afterwards). He was grateful, somewhat shy, soft spoken and so friendly. I was not disappointed in the slightest.

The most surprising thing for me was that, before the gig I assumed hearing him live would be pretty much the same as listening to him on my iPod, turns out that when you're within six feet of Jay Brannan, sat with his guitar singing his heart out, you really get to hear his lyrics, you develop a new understanding of them and some songs that you simply enjoyed, now have resonance with you that they never would have had if you had not seen him live. One song in particular with a new-found resonance is 'Half Boyfriend' (lyrics below).

So the moral of this story is that if you're not familiar with Jay Brannan - you should be. Google him, check out his music on itunes, follow him on Twitter, 'Like' him on Facebook and subscribe to his youtube channel which he regularly updates with news, original songs, newly written material and spellbinding covers.

'Half Boyfriend' from the album 'Goddamned'

I don't know where we're going
But I know we've gone too far
And I hope it isn't showing,
But I think I love you
And I can't believe you're leaving
Just when I let you in
And when you had me believing
I could feel again

I could give a million reasons
Why we should not be friends
Our moods change like the seasons
My mood ends your mood begins
And you're a tease, you're a cockblocker
You're a loud mouth bitch and a big talker,
But that's okay.
You'll grow up someday.

You're the pill I never wanted to take.
An anti-misanthrope
Mine was the heart I never thought you would be break
My one hope was that I'd survive you

I've shown up for you in ways that boy never would
But I know you'll go back to him and maybe you should
But I hope you don't go backwards
‘Cause I'm going on ahead
And one day you'll wish that you had stuck with me instead

You're the pill I never wanted to take.
An anti-misanthrope
Mine was the heart I never thought you would be break
My one hope was that I'd survive you

As I wander through Union Square
I remember when you followed me there
You were the stalker I kind of wanted to have
Being your half-boyfriend was only half bad

You're the pill I never wanted to take.
An anti-misanthrope
Mine was the heart I never thought you would be break
My one hope was that I'd survive you.

Must we all be chameleons?

In relationships, sacrifices must be made, some compromises need to be reached. Perhaps a slight tweak of your music taste, a certain shirt that your other half considers to be particularly hideous might never see the light of day again (at least when they're not around) but should anyone really change themselves to make a relationship work?

We've all heard the line from a less than ideal partner when things aren't going very well, "I'll change!" well, what makes you think I want you to? So you change, we get together and then what? You resent me for making you lose touch with your former self? No thanks. Of course there are some relationships that will change you for the better, but we've all seen those God-awful dominating women, thinking they can shape their man into the type of person that they want them to be. Honey, it never works.

Some people are easily blinded by love. They see an imperfect person, perfectly, looking pass the flaws and letting the love become unconditional. As romantic as that may sound to some of you, it really is not healthy. It can sometimes be dangerous for a person (like me) who isn't entirely certain of their personal identity or a person who considers themselves to be a "chameleon" to enter a relationship, whether it be plutonic or romantic. I often find myself mimicking the way someone dresses, stealing a few songs from their itunes and even adopting similar eating patterns, perhaps in an attempt to impress the other person, to feign common ground or perhaps to prove to myself how adaptable I can be. I'm not saying I change my opinions or my personality, I'm talking about minor tweaks I have been known to make in the past. Having said that, I must also say that there have been a good few people who I've felt completely at ease with, wholly comfortable to be who I want and say what I want.

So do we have to change to make a relationship work? Yes, but only slightly.

Of course someone should love you for who you are, but it is only natural when welcoming someone else into your life that you must adapt and/or compromise certain parts of your personality (as should the other person). Some adjustments are necessary, just as long as we never, ever lose our sense of self. We don't want to become a clone of our other half, plus, agreeing on everything is quite frankly, mind-numbingly boring, and God forbid you become one of those couples that speak about themselves as though they are one entity "We love that restaurant", "We hate that film" I despair! Please remember that you are still two independent individuals and not two halves of a whole!

Embrace the change, be open-minded, be willing, be adaptable, be accessible and understanding, but always stay true to yourself, don't let anyone take that away, you've worked far too hard to shape who you are for someone else to come and break it down. Just be it, and you'll eventually find someone willing to do the same, someone worthy of having you.

Blogger's Block

"I'm a connoisseur of roads.

I've been tasting roads my whole life. This road will never end.

It probably goes all around the world."

Now I know I haven't blogged in a long while, to be quite honest this has merely been because I haven't had much to say. Between looking for a house, looking for a job, starting my second year at university and just downright enjoying myself, my life hasn't really been that eventful of late and I therefore haven't had much to report or comment on.

I often get like this. I consider myself to be rather introverted, always in my head, always thinking and yet now and then my fountain of creativity can temporarily dry up. Instead of posting meaningless crap and just generally cluttering up my blog, I would much rather wait until something comes to me, something of substance, something actually worth blogging about, rather than blogging for the sake of blogging (which far too many people are guilty of).

A very good friend of mine gave me some of the best advice I've had recently "You can go to all the parties and know all these fabulous people, but it doesn't pay the bills". Sane, simple, sound advice. Another acquaintance of mine mused "Go out as much as you can, meet as many people as you can and just work on getting yourself out there. These girls that go home every weekend to be with their boyfriends will get nowhere." Two very different pieces of advice, both of which I have to agree with. The message here is, that although making contacts and social events are vital, it is important to stay grounded, don't get too wrapped up in it all. Keep your priorities right - party your ass off, meet important people, but remember you have bills to pay and probably a mountain of other responsibilities.

Although I am a very sociable person, and consider myself fairly easy to get along with, I have often struggled to create really strong affinities with people. I've been mistaken for a social butterfly, a social climber, but in reality it's not that I'm flitting between friendship groups, I'm merely trying to find my way in the world, trying to figure out where (if anywhere) I fit in and in what kind of tribe of people I belong. Which to be honest, I'm really enjoying, I've met some incredible people and made some amazing friends along the way.

At twenty years of age I am still constantly learning about myself. Getting older is a constant education. I truly envy people who are so sure within themselves, they know exactly who they are, what they want and where they're going. I've always had a rough idea, but have never pinned down any specifics. Perhaps this has saved me from being even more overly-ambitious and setting myself up for disappointment, who knows?

There's plenty of things I'm not too sure about, but one thing I do know is that any day now, I'll know exactly who I am, what I want and where I'm heading. But right now, I'm just enjoying the ride.

Worth The Effort

The "Apples on Trees" theory has been circling the internet for quite some time, I have no idea who wrote or said it, I simply stumbled across it on someone's Facebook profile. It spoke to me, it really did resonate with me, it's pretty much what friends and family have been trying to tell me for months and I never really took much notice. Reading it in black and white however, the message came through loud and clear.

I related to it, not in an egotistical way, but because it is often how I feel about myself and I've never really been able to verbalise it in an eloquent and clear way. There was a time, not so long ago, when my opinion of a certain someone was far higher than any opinion I have ever had of myself... never again.

For those of you who have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, here is the "Apples on Trees" theory (aka the story of my romantic life thus far) :

"Boys are like apples on trees, the best ones are at the top. Other boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as nice, but are easy. So the apples up top think there is something wrong with them, when in reality they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

I'm worth the effort, and he'll be worth the wait.

The best things in life are free...

"Money isn't essential, but it is right up there with oxygen."

- Jack Murphy, 2008

Dammit Janice

"Everything about me is fake and I'm perfect"

Janice Dickinson, the world's (self-titled) "First Supermodel". You know, she hasn't always been a screaming, drunken, all-round fabulous mess going around spilling champagne on fashion's aristocracy, telling starving models to lose weight and calling Tyra Banks fat. There was a time (before the botox, the brow lift, the boob job, the boob lift, the jowl removal, the lip injections, the cheek implants, the eye bag removal, the tummy tuck, the fake tan and the veneers) when she was fresh-faced, young, beautiful and well... modelesque!

Can you believe that she once looked like this?

Janice at 19 years-old

"Without gay men, I am nothing."

Janice Dickinson

Eclipse

"When you see her... Everything changes.

All of a sudden, it's not gravity holding you to the planet.

It's her... Nothing else matters."

Jacob Black

I'm not crazy about the Twilight saga, but my inner teenage girl did swoon ever so slightly over that line.

Latest Girl Crush: Bryce Dallas Howard... preferably blonde.

Oh, and I've just discovered comedian Tim Minchin - Genius.

Look into it.

New Obsession Alert.

"I don't want to be cool, I want to be fashion."

A big thank you to Iñaki over at sovipzone.blogspot.com for introducing me to Anna Dello Russo, the Italian fashion icon, and Editor-at-large and Creative Consultant at VOGUE Nippon.

She works with what she has.

The Gospel According To Gaga: Part I

"I'm a hard girl, loving me is like chewing on pearls."

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you any more."

"I'd sooner die than have my fans see me out of a pair of heels."

"A glamorous life is quite different to a life of luxury. I don’t need luxury. For years, I was practically broke but I was still very vain and glamorous. And I still am."

"I'm from New York. I will kill to get what I need."

"US Weekly putting me on the worst dressed list? I don't care. If Karl Lagerfeld called me an ugly hag, then I'd be upset. Because it's Karl Lagerfeld."

"I'm just trying to change the world, one sequin at a time."

♥

Stay Grounded

“I'm like a balloon. Unless someone holds my string,

I'll float away" - Michael Alig.

A lust for trust.

Lauren Conrad once said about Los Angeles -

“Living in this town I've realized one thing....like everyone and trust no one”

- the same can most definitely be said about London.

Here's some shoe porn to liven the mood, anything that combines fashion and romance is worthy of my attention.